In lieu of long posts (of which I have 5 in back order) I have decided to break the silence and share a couple of stories which support the title of this post. And seriously, some of these kids put most adults in awe! (myself included).
Story #1: 3 weeks ago I was teaching my normal kids class that Thursday. Towards the end of the class I notice one of the 5-year-old boys has the “I’m-going-to-throw up” face. Now mind you this boy is one of the rambunctious characters and is often caught by me and my fellow child instructors not listening and just being a little punk. He’s gotten better at listening to the adults but at the beginning he was very prone to just being distracted and “listening to his own record”. Anyway at first this was what I thought – but the slightly colored face gave it away that he was rather dehydrated. He’s usually has a rather colorful personality – being a bit of a brat – so him walking up to me in this fashion was out of character for him. I asked him if he wanted to have a seat and drink some water. He shook his head; he wanted to stay on the mat. Okay I thought so I allowed him to stay on. A couple of minutes later I noticed he still hadn’t gone to drink and his face was still rather colored. I asked him again – he said
“No I’m okay”.
At this point the class was about to end in a few minutes so I thought that having him sit down would deprive him of a much-needed closure activity. So I finish the activity and I’m having the kids sit down to bow out. Calmly this child stands up and says the words:
“I don’t feel well.”
Okay, I thought, and told him he could go to his mom and have a drink. My blue belt sempai on the other hand exclaims “You don’t look well, go throw up!” At this point the poor kid’s face was beige all over (he has white skin) and a small hue of green in the mix.
What happens next should be chronicled among the volumes of kindergarten/5-year-old badassery. He calmly walks up to his mother (her face is a mix of motherly worry/concern/and “w.t.f. is happening here?”) and stops as if to wait for his bottle of water. Instead he then turns away from his mom and stops at the trash can that is nearby (which by the way, is almost as tall of he is).
All of sudden he stands up on his toes and a gigantic blob of vomit ushers forth from his mouth and into his trash can. For those of you who have seen your vomit after a night of heavy drinking – imagine that flying out of a 5 year old’s mouth!
The whole waterfall scene happened less than 2 seconds, but what happens next makes him a god among kids. He wipes his mouth with the sleeve of his gi, walks up to his mother (she’s still looking at him with a “what-the-hell-are-you-thinking” gaze), takes a sip of water from his toddler-size water bottle. He then turns and bows towards the shomen of the school, gets on the mat, then sits in seiza with the class that’s waiting to be bowed out. He then looks at me (I’m seated in the instructor position) and gives me the most serious, disciplined, I-am-ready-for-your-orders-sir! look that I have ever seen him use. He says nothing for the rest of the class.
That kid took it like a boss!
...kinda like this kid. Only less of this badass and more like...
... this badass.
FYI: the rest of the students who were politely sitting waiting for him showed and expressed their disgust at the scene, saying “ewww…”. And like a boss, he ignored them (at least from what I could tell).
Story #2: So this is actually from a classmate of mine that reminded me of my student in #1. So his wife and him were watching the fireworks this past 4th and according to him, they were waiting for the show when suddenly his wife lets out a scream! He turns around and a woman nearby lets out another scream. Apparently there was a cockroach that was about 4 inches long walking under them. The two women were screaming “Kill it! Kill it! Kill it!”. My friend was standing around trying to decide what to do when an 8-year-old badass comes out of nowhere and crushes the sucker under his foot.
I asked my friend what he thought and he stated that he didn’t want a cockroach carcass at the bottom of his shoe. However, little Jimmy had no problem with that.
…And that’s it! That’s all the time I have left before I need to go sleep like an old man and wake up in 5.5 hours to “enrich” the minds of 25 7 year-olds…like a boss.
Till next time ladies and gents!
The Journey of an Accidental Aikidoist 
This post was BOSS! I was laughing so hard – good read.
Glad you enjoyed it CTK!